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First Time Moms

Do you have a Toddler & an Infant?

  • 09-Feb-09 09:02
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    Message # 102753
    anonymous member

    What is it like with two? Do you have a toddler and an infant?  What is it like?  What are some of the most common challenges?

    enquiring minds wants to know :-)
  • 09-Feb-09 16:03
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    Reply # 103513 on 102753
    anonymous member
    I have a two year old boy and a 7 month old girl, with another one due in July. Yes I know I have lost my mind. I have always wanted to have a big family. Keeping the kids close in age was important to me, so they could grow up together. So far so good. Sometimes I feel like I put too many demands on the two year old to make things easier with the baby. Then I feel like I am missing out on all the baby time with the little one because I have to keep the older one occupied. I find it hard to find the perfect balance. The more time I spend with them the easier it seems to be. Its funny because I remember feeling so overwhelmed with one baby, but now I look back at it and think 'wow it was so easy then.' I wonder if it will be like that with the third one. Its crazy for me to think THREE under three. Someone once said to me that once you have two, three four five is no big deal. I am not sold on that statement. We will see.
  • 30-Oct-09 01:55
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    Reply # 237474 on 102753
    anonymous member
    I have a newborn (almost 6 mos now), a 2 yo, and a 5 yo.  The challenge for me with these guys dangling around me is finding the ME TIME - for the things I love to do.  Its like running after a leaving bus. Geez!  :D
  • 12-Apr-10 16:44
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    Reply # 324068 on 102753
    anonymous member

    Hi Ladies,

    I'm a mom who has a 23-month old and another one on the way. I'm wondering what the best form of 'preparation' is for the times to come (I have about 6 months to go)?

    - We'll be doing the transition from a crib to a bed, so that we can hide the crib from the toddler and use it for the baby.

    - Potty training will definitely be 'finalized'

    What else should we prepare for as a family in both physical and conversation with our toddler?

    Thanks for your feedback, it's much appreciated!

    Julie
  • 15-Apr-10 23:32
    Reply
    Reply # 326231 on 324068
    anonymous member
    Julie . wrote:

    Hi Ladies,

    I'm a mom who has a 23-month old and another one on the way. I'm wondering what the best form of 'preparation' is for the times to come (I have about 6 months to go)?

    - We'll be doing the transition from a crib to a bed, so that we can hide the crib from the toddler and use it for the baby.

    - Potty training will definitely be 'finalized'

    What else should we prepare for as a family in both physical and conversation with our toddler?

    Thanks for your feedback, it's much appreciated!

    Julie


    Hi Julie,

    I have a 28 month-old and a 2 month-old and the best advice that I can give is to just go with the flow.  I was certain that my older one would be potty trained by the time #2 was here and that didn't happen, especially with him seeing all of the diapers for the newborn around.  We're still working on it and hoping he will be out of diapers soon!  He has also latched onto his pacifier again, now that the baby has his.  I have read that regression when a new baby comes into the mix is totally normal so I am not concerned.  

    My biggest concern with having them close in age was that the older one would resent his younger brother because he was getting more attention.  I went out and bought a few small presents that the baby could "give" to his big brother in the hospital when they first met, as well as some things when we got home.  My son loved it and still refers to those toys as "big brother presents"!  My husband and I also make it a point to do an activity with our older one alone each week so he doesn't feel jealous.   

    It's sometimes a juggling act, but in the end, I hope having them close in age will make them close brothers as they grow up!
  • 19-Apr-10 10:23
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    Reply # 327726 on 102753
    anonymous member

    Hi Narah, thank you for your insight. I haven't even thought about regression in the toddler. Where have you read about this?

    Thanks,

    Julie
  • 20-Apr-10 12:10
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    Reply # 328404 on 102753
    anonymous member
    Hi Julie and ladies.

    Sibling regression is something you need to look out for but need not worry so much.  It may seem like a huge behavioral or attitude issue but our pediatrician has told me its a phase.  Once older sibling gets used to the newborn, it will all be alright. 

    How to address it is like addressing a mood flare. You don't correct it or punish him/her for it, but weather it out.  Keeping the older sibling distracted by activities can help, as well as, talking about the birds and bees and the sky above - you know what I mean?  If it will help, you can read this post I made:  http://www.twittermoms.com/profiles/blogs/sibling-regression-and-being-a

    I hope this helps and keep you sane.  :D  Chill !

    ~Nina
    Last modified: 20-Apr-10 12:11 | anonymous member
  • 29-Apr-10 23:08
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    Reply # 333442 on 324068
    Joanna (administrator)
    Julie,
    When I had my second, Naomi was 2 and 5 months. We did our best to "prepare" her for the new arrival. She knew about the "baby in mommy's tummy". She played "mom" to her dolls a lot so we weren't worried. But when baby came, she was more jealous than I expected. Things got better over time although some 3 1/2 months later, she still occasionally fights for my (or dad's) attention, and demands it when I'm in the middle of caring for baby.

    So much I could tell you but here are tips that immediately come to mind:
    - Be prepared for regression in potty training even if your boy is fully trained. Naomi regressed but she is back on track now.
    - Who puts your child to bed at night? You may want Dad to start doing it now if you think you won't be able to put both baby and older child to bed at night
    - The tips about gifts is a good one. I, too, had a gift from baby to my toddler
    - Talk to your friends and relatives who will be visiting. When they visit, tell them to make sure to pay attention to your toddler (maybe ensure they say hello to him first), and to bring him a little gift as well (even stickers and the like).
    - Naomi freaked when we went out for a walk and she was expected to "walk" while baby was in the stroller (*her* stroller).  Every child is different but do think about all the changes that can be potentially upsetting to a child.
    - Once you've settled into a routine with baby, perhaps schedule some exclusive time with your boy.

    - A great book (alas we were told about it AFTER baby was born but it still helped) to prepare your child for a sibling is "A Baby for Grace". Naomi sooo related to it. Since you have a boy, perhaps you can find something more appropriate, or change the story around for him.

    All the best!
    Last modified: 29-Apr-10 23:11 | Joanna (administrator)
  • 03-May-10 11:26
    Reply
    Reply # 334782 on 333442
    anonymous member

    Nina, Joanna,

    Thank you for your responses! I'll definitely be tuning into the blog and try to sustain my sanity. Only 5 months away now..

    We're actually trying to get away from the gifts right now. Our guests are so used to bringing a gift for Liam when they come over, that he can easily go through his toys and name which gift came from whom. I saw some bad examples of kids rushing to the door to meet strangers and when they see empty hands it's a full 90% retreat. I would hate for my kiddo to be the same way. So I've already asked for all our friends for no gifts..

    I'll be taking a look at the available resources soon - will post other interesting findings :)

    Julie
 
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