Life With A Baby - Sex after baby!!!

Monday, July 05, 2010 11:15 PM

Message # 376891

Kimberly

I dont know if anyone else has this issue but its been almost 17 months and I still have NO sex drive!! I'm still breastfeeding which I hear can have some effect, but shouldn't there be SOMETHING by now??? My ob just kinda blows it off as nothing...but my hubby doesnt agree!!

Thursday, July 08, 2010 3:43 PM

Reply # 378819 on 376891

Colleen

Hi Kim,

I had a similar issue, and I actually found it got way better after I went back to work part time. I'm also still breastfeeding a few times a day, but my periods came back when my son was 11 months, so I think the hormones go back to normal then. I really think that what made a difference was having some time away from my son and starting to think of myself as a person again instead of just a mom. Maybe getting involved in an activity that's totally unrelated to babies/toddlers would help. Even just a few hours a week might make a big difference.

Colleen

Thursday, July 08, 2010 10:24 PM

Reply # 379051 on 376891

Shilaja

I had a similar experience to Colleen. I also found that going back to work helped a bit as well as the return of my periods. If you're on the pill, you may want to talk to your doctor about switching to another one, a friend of mine found that really helped her. Either way, your doctor should not be dismissing your concers, they seem very valid.

Sunday, July 11, 2010 9:56 PM

Reply # 380676 on 376891

Kimberly

Well my periods came back right after the baby...so its not that...and I dont plan on going back to work so thats out too...lol. But maybe an activity will help. Im still bfing and apparently that still effects hormones, but I think some of it is mental too...I dont think of sex in the way that I used to....I dunno...I dont want to be treated like a wild crazy sex toy anymore...I want to "make love"....but thats if I even get to that point...which is rare....I dunno...I just find its the last thing on my mind and it seems like more of an annoyance than an enjoyable activity

Friday, August 06, 2010 5:24 PM

Reply # 398074 on 376891

Deleted user

I couldn't think of anything more intimate with my husband except plain cuddling during the first year of the baby. Sex drive, what's that? Fatigue from feeding and taking care of the new baby, all I wanted were naps and sleeps. He was always telling me during a pregnancy, ok there goes our sex life in the next year...sad!

But sometimes, for some weird physiological reasons when I do get the "itch" (geez, can't I think of a better word???) I just jump right in and he's like yeah bay-beh! But that happens like once in blue moon. So he had to wait for the next blue moon or eclipse.

When I start getting better sleep, losing more weight and feeling more attractive the usual excitement just comes back. Women are slow to start sometimes, like kindling fire on charcoal. Men are like revved up engines anytime of the day. So tell yer husband that helping with the kids pays off darn well. ;D

Thursday, August 12, 2010 12:08 PM

Reply # 401628 on 376891

Anne

Sex, and the connection you get from sex, is very important to me . . . when everything else is going down the pooper it's the easiest way to connect with your partner. We had sex (my choice) after 6 weeks. Oh my GOD it hurt!! I think I went through a case of lube and 6 cases of wine! And it continued to hurt until I got my period at 4 months . . .and then something magical happened. Sex got AWESOME! It was always great but suddenly it was awesome and I attacked my poor hubby constantly! I asked my ob and he told me that it's "mother nature's" way of trying to get me pregnant again. I don't care what the reason is, I'm just glad it happens!

Everyone is different and we all have different sex drives and that's perfectly okay. I'm simply sharing my story in the hopes it might be motivating for some . . . just make sure you get the wine and the lube!

Thursday, August 12, 2010 2:02 PM

Reply # 401684 on 376891

Dar

As for myself, breastfeeding definitely was the culprit. I felt absolutely nothing while breastfeeding. Then 2 weeks after I weaned my son - BINGO!! :-) But my body has always been very binary though (yes or no - there is no may be!).

Oh yeah! When hubby really helps out with the kid and the chores, it really makes me look at him 'differently'!! :-)

Last modified: Thursday, August 12, 2010 2:02 PM | Dar

Sunday, September 19, 2010 9:40 PM

Reply # 421122 on 401684

Deleted user

Darmeen Cheung wrote:As for myself, breastfeeding definitely was the culprit. I felt absolutely nothing while breastfeeding. Then 2 weeks after I weaned my son - BINGO!! :-) But my body has always been very binary though (yes or no - there is no may be!).

Oh yeah! When hubby really helps out with the kid and the chores, it really makes me look at him 'differently'!! :-)

It does, it really does! My guy even looks sexier. :D

Sunday, September 19, 2010 9:41 PM

Reply # 421123 on 401628

Deleted user

Anne Woodley wrote:
Sex, and the connection you get from sex, is very important to me . . . when everything else is going down the pooper it's the easiest way to connect with your partner. We had sex (my choice) after 6 weeks. Oh my GOD it hurt!! I think I went through a case of lube and 6 cases of wine! And it continued to hurt until I got my period at 4 months . . .and then something magical happened. Sex got AWESOME! It was always great but suddenly it was awesome and I attacked my poor hubby constantly! I asked my ob and he told me that it's "mother nature's" way of trying to get me pregnant again. I don't care what the reason is, I'm just glad it happens!

Everyone is different and we all have different sex drives and that's perfectly okay. I'm simply sharing my story in the hopes it might be motivating for some . . . just make sure you get the wine and the lube!

That's incredible! You wouldn't happen to be a Scorpio, are you? LOL Ouch!!! - Oh yeah no wonder you had lotsa lubes and wines to make the nearest mom&pops stores very happy. But was all worth it, wasn't it? Did you have to use contraceptives then?

Sunday, September 19, 2010 9:48 PM

Reply # 421131 on 379051

Deleted user

Shilaja Miranda wrote:I had a similar experience to Colleen. I also found that going back to work helped a bit as well as the return of my periods. If you're on the pill, you may want to talk to your doctor about switching to another one, a friend of mine found that really helped her. Either way, your doctor should not be dismissing your concers, they seem very valid.

Are you saying that pills can drive the mojo dry? Were there symptoms? Or was it just a case of lube and wines to get the fireworks going? ;D Yeah, but it does make sense with the body's chemistry being somehow spiked by the pills.

Sex after baby!!!

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