This blog is about life with a baby. It's not always what you expect and there is definitely no job description. Every baby is different and unique which is why motherhood can be so scary, fun, terrifying, exciting, and rewarding all at the same time.

We encourage you to share your experiences - by sharing your experiences and commenting on other posts, you may be helping other moms.
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  • Sunday, November 05, 2017 1:09 PM | Julie (Administrator)

    When we were first time parents many people told us, "wow have you got it easy!" and looking back, we did. Our first born was chill. From the very beginning he basically took care of himself. Other then his refusal to nap more then 40 minutes twice a day (but we all know that was more me then him, I'm smarter now!) He hardly cried, was easily satisfied and as he grew and developed a personality he remained that easy natured, calm child.

    Enter, baby 2!

    Imagine a world where everything is opposite, bizarro and LOUD! That was our new life. Our second born decided to be different. He wanted volume, drama, alarm bells and to be utterly confusing minute by minute, day by day.  His spirit was (still is) naturally vivacious and extreme. He feels all things passionately and is not afraid to show it.

    As a Mom I have always felt it was my job to be conscious or purposeful in my parenting. I believe that parenting your children isn't all about instincts and leaving it up to fate. I haven't been the type to throw my hands up and "well I can only do what I can do".  I knew that I had to learn and grow with my kids at their different stages. I wasn't born with the skills to settle a sibling dispute over who ran so hard they broke the others lego creation, I mean huh?  I don't have the natural patience level to hear the explanation of how the toilet paper ended up in the toilet unwound and half flushed filling the bathroom with water. Professionally, I am trained, educated and experienced in dealing with behaviour, anxiety, developmental stages and challenges, family dynamics etc But that means NOTHING in your own parenting sphere. So I read. I scoured the internet for parenting blogs, articles, books etc. I loved it and because of it I found my parenting identity. I helped my husband find his own style (different from my own, annoyingly!) and together we started to sort through the rubble of having a spirited child. Or as we affectionately refer to him, our Three-nager.

    I believe the definition of Three-nager would sound something like this. A beautiful complex blend of a toddler and a teenager. A tiny human full of the big emotions, learning  challenges and limitations of a 3 year old but the mood swings, temper tantrums and need for independence of an adolescent. Thank you universe for that cocktail blend of crazy.

    Over the course of a year we tried and failed at many strategies to cope with our sons tantrums, crying spells, behaviours and emotions. There were times when we spoke to our doctor so overwhelmed with how to cope. We were convinced he had a learning or developmental disability. Perhaps he was on the autism spectrum or had ADHD. I ran his attributes through checklists, questionnaires etc. Nope - nothing. We finally figured out a blend of strategies that really helped our every day life. Life was never perfect, days were still hard but for the most part they were better, mostly enjoyable!  Its not cold to describe this stage in my sons life in this way, its realistic. Three year olds are learning and figuring out complex emotions through daily situations. They struggle to balance the need for adult support with their desire to be independent. How many times have you heard, "I do it!" and three hours, two meltdowns and maybe some kicking or throwing toys later - they do! Some kids breeze through the 2-3 yr stage without these concerns. Some people have them to varying degrees. It doesn't make it easier or better for one set of parents. We all have our own sets of struggles at different stages. Comparing what you experience with your own children to what others experience just creates fear, self doubt and shame. Sharing and listening to each other creates dialogue, support and empowerment.

    Here is what I have learned;

    Hold them Close

    Pull them close, hold them tight, wrap your arms around them and let them cry. Sit and snuggle through the screaming and tears until their body relaxes. Stand close, at their eye level or on the floor in front or beside them. It feels counter intuitive to pull your screaming 3 year old, who might have just kicked you or took a giant bite out of your shoulder, in for a hug but their internal regulators are firing on all cylinders. They are confused and overwhelmed and no matter of talking AT them will help.  Your warmth, slow deep breathing, soft cooing of "its ok. Im here and I love you" will help them ride the wave of complex feelings until they are ready to problem solve or move forward.

    Let One Go

    Sometimes "this way or no way" just starts a power struggle big enough to blow the roof off the house. Things may seem prescribed "this is how we put on a coat" but to a Three -nager there are no limits. He or she sees that coat with endless ideas and options. Legs in sleeves, upside down, buttons only etc. Time and patience permitting let them do it. It won't be the worst thing for them to wear the coat upside. Let One Go. Meals especially make this idea difficult. No one wants to run a restaurant in their kitchen, making many separate meals is exhausting. But, if dinner is tacos and the Threenager says "i do it" or "eww gross" - face palm yourself, pray for bedtime and say these three words to yourself "let one go". Let the little darling assemble her taco, create her own version of a taco (PB+J anyone?) or if disgust is on the menu let them create a plate of items using whatever is in the fridge. Don't fight the hurricane, ride the wave. You won't damage their healthy eating habits, or ruin your dreams of family dinners. It all still happens because eventually the fight is gone and the Three-nager moves on. Obviously safety trumps this notion but in most situations if you take a deep breath and ask yourself whether your "way" has more to do with how you think something SHOULD be and no harm will come to the Three-nager, Let One Go.

    Acknowledge Them

    Big emotional reactions are basically many little feelings triggered from many tiny experiences that stick together and then implode inside the Three-nager. Think of a carbonated beverage slowly being turned upside down repeatedly in a day. Eventually the lid pops off and sprays everywhere. Throughout the day say things outloud like "Peppa Pig is being sassy today isn't she?", "wow I love this hot cup of coffee it makes me so happy", "Mommy thinks you must be feeling frustrated that I can't find your favourite purple sock" repeat repeat repeat. The more Three-nagers here emotional language used in everyday experiences the more likely they are to use that language in explaining or talking with you. My Three-nager would not have held off a tantrum due to saying he was frustrated but at least I had a 1 minute warning to set the coffee down, put on a rain poncho and wait for his lid to pop off! (figuratively speaking of course!)

    Rest Repair Repeat

    The days of parenting a Three-nager feel endless. 6am to 7pm is a long time to be on guard, ready for battle, restating emotions, creating choice, holding them close etc. Wearing down. growing weary and feeling resentful is common. Its hard and only parents of Three-nagers really get it. Lots try to understand and be empathetic, "oh my darling got so mad yesterday she yelled at me too!" Nope, thats different! Give yourself some leeway to feel bad, to be sad, to wallow and to fear if you are doing a good job. Acknowledge your own feelings, share them with your partner but then find time to repair. Create moments to build yourself back up, to feel the joy in your parenting, to be kind to yourself and do something that brings you peace and calm. In the same way repair with your child. Create opportunities to snuggle, to laugh, to be present and enjoy the beautiful complex angel in your life. They feel all things strongly, including their own happiness and joy. Revel in their ability to stand against the normal and forge their own path. Tell them you love them, you adore them, you learn from them everyday. REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT

    My Three-nager isn't an angel everyday. But when we gave up on waiting for him to grow out of it, as if this personality trait was a pair of old pants - and we focused on learning and experiencing with him, our daily lives and his got better.


    Cheers, 

    Julie 

    check out more of my writing at www.wordpress.com/builtwithjoy 

  • Thursday, October 26, 2017 9:11 AM | claire (Administrator)
    Planning for the arrival of a baby can be overwhelming. From shopping for the perfect stroller and crib, to stockpiling diapers, wipes and onesies, there is a lot to think about as the big day approaches. In this article and the articles that follow, I hope to provide an overview that is not to be construed as legal advice and address work related concerns and tries to simplify the laws regarding maternity and parental leave, accessing benefits before and after you bring home baby, obtaining accommodations, and returning to work at the end of a leave of absence in the Province of Ontario.


    In this article, we discuss expecting parents’ rights to take job protected unpaid time off work before and after the birth of a child.



    Which Law Applies?
    The laws governing employment are different depending on where you work. Of course, everything starts with what’s provided in an employment contract; if your contract says you are entitled to two years of maternity leave, that’s great! On the other hand, if your contract says you cannot have any time off after having a baby, then that contract (or that part of the contract at least) is likely unenforceable because it violates the Canada Labour Code (“CLC”), or its provincial counterparts like the Ontario Employment Standards Act (“ESA”).

    There are only minor differences between the CLC and the ESA with respect to protected time off from work, but it is important to know which law applies to your situation. If you work as an employee in a federally regulated industry like banking, telecommunications, air or rail travel, then the CLC applies. If the CLC does not apply, then the Ontario ESA will apply (assuming you work in Ontario). It’s that simple.

    Do you Qualify?
    Expecting mothers are eligible for pregnancy leave under the CLC if they have completed six months of continuous employment before leave begins.  Under the ESA, expecting mothers qualify for pregnancy leave if they have started their employment at least 13 weeks before the expected due date. Any absence that does not sever your employment – like a sick leave of vacation – does not interrupt your continuity of employment.

    Pregnancy Leave
    Expecting mothers – not spouses and not adoptive parents – are permitted to take up to 17 consecutive weeks of pregnancy leave, also be called maternity leave.  

    Under the CLC, pregnancy leave can start up to 11 weeks before the expected due date. Under the ESA, leave can start up to 17 weeks before the due date. The last day to start this leave of absence is – understandably – the day the baby is born.  A pregnancy leave may be extended if the baby arrives after the expected due date.

    Expecting parents are required to provide between four weeks notice (under the CLC) and two weeks notice (under the ESA) of the start date for a pregnancy leave. Failure to do so doesn’t deprive you of your right to time off, but it certainly sends the wrong message.

    An employer may require a medical certificate confirming your pregnant, and the due date. The start date may be changed if sufficient notice is provided. If they do, there’s no harm in proving one. An employer cannot, however, dictate when a pregnancy leave starts, even if an employee is sick or her pregnancy limits the type of work she can do.

    Parental Leave
    New parents, including birth parents, adopting parents, and people in a relationship with a parent of a child with plans to treat the child as their own, have the right to take parental leave, which provides for up to 37 weeks of job protected leave (or 35 weeks if you’re a mom who has already taken pregnancy leave).

    A birth mother who takes pregnancy leave is generally required to start her 35 weeks of parental leave as soon as pregnancy leave ends, though there are some exceptions. Any other eligible employee can start their 37 weeks of parental leave anytime within the 52 weeks following the arrival of a child. Just like pregnancy leave, parental leave must be taken all at once and advance notice must be provided to the employer.
     
    Other Types of Job Protected Leave
    Pregnancy and Parental leave are baseline entitlements, which means your employer must permit you time off work. An employer may also simply agree to provide more time off if requested. If time off is needed for medical reasons, an employer would be hard pressed to deny a reasonable request supported by a doctor’s note, especially where an employee is participating in an insurance plan that provides for disability benefits. If, heaven forbid, complications should arise before or after a pregnancy, the law also provides for other types of job protected unpaid leaves of absence, such as personal emergency leave or family medical leave.

    Changes Ahead
    As you may have heard, the federal and provincial governments are proposing changes to these laws, and to the Federal Employment Insurance program that may extend parental leave. Right now, however, these changes have not been put into place, this article only touches upon the system as it stands.

    Conclusion

    The law is quite fluid and this article is an overview of the law.  The comments in this article are not be taken as legal advice, rather, legal advice should always be sought out prior to engaging in actions which have the potential to harm your employer-employee relationship notwithstanding your rights.  My recommendation is that if you have a question or concern, simply send an email to Aaron Waxman at awaxman@awaxmanlaw.ca or call at 416-661-4878/1844-583-4878 (or #LTD on your cell phone).  One more thing, before you call you should always remember that there are no bad questions! 




  • Monday, October 02, 2017 11:04 AM | claire (Administrator)

    I don’t consider myself a "handy" person. In fact, if I can outsource something I will. So when we decided to get our interlocking walkway done, it made sense to us that we would call a company to get it done.

    We saw some signs around our neighbourhood and figured that if our neighbours were using this company, they must be good. We got the number from one of the signs and called Mega-Loc Interlocking. It was a very, very bad decision, and we ended up getting scammed. They played off the power of community and scammed the whole neighbourhood at the same time. We thought that since the neighbours had already done their homework, we didn't have to. As you can see they have a horrible rating on Home Stars, a website I didn't even know about until we were scammed.

    Five months after we signed the contract, our driveway ended up looking like this. 



    And I cried about it here

    We were then left with two choices: call another company, or do it ourselves. We had already used up a big chunk of our budget with the deposits that we gave to Mega-Loc Interlocking, so we decided to test out that Home Depot slogan "You can do it. We can help". As it turned out, we could do it and we did an amazing job, if I do say so myself!

    Home Depot was a big help because everything we needed was  available for rent.

    Here’s a bit about our process…

    Before you start, it's important to measure the area, and figure out the design and what type of paving stones you want to use.

    1. Use the walk-behind saw to cut the driveway where needed.



    2. Dig. Even though they had excavated some of the area, it was poorly done and we had to remove the base gravel layer they had used because it was the wrong one. You can either hire someone to dig out the area or rent a container for the soil and a small excavator like this one.


    3. We got two types of gravel from Home Depot to use as a base. First, we used larger gravel and then the compactor to press it down. Then we used Limestone Screenings and the compactor again (20 bags of each).



    4. Set your paving stones. We got ours at a great price on sale, and they were delivered to our door.   You'll want to order in advance and have this ready when you start the process because you don't want to wait for the stones to be delivered if everything else is ready to go.

    5. Put sand on top to finish it off, and use the compactor one last time to press it down firmly. We used 3 bags of sand and swept it into the cracks.



    Voila! Just five easy steps to a new walkway..


    We finished right on time too because it rained the next day :). We still have the stairs and landscaping to do, but the hard part is done. We are so happy with the way it looks! 




    Of course, it’s a lot of work, and took us about three weekends to get it all done but we did it!

    Our 6 year old also wanted to help. Once he heard we were going to Home Depot her ran and got his Home Depot Kids workshop Apron. 


    So yes, we were scammed and we hope that you won't have the same experience, but we learned some valuable lessons. 

    If you decide to do your next home improvement project yourself, head to your nearest Home Depot. 

    I was provided with a gift card to cover a portion of the equipment rental, as always all opinions are my own.

  • Thursday, August 31, 2017 9:30 AM | Christina (Administrator)

    THIS IS A COPY OF OUR AUGUST #PreTermChats ON FACEBOOK. To participate in the next one, be sure to like and follow www.facebook.com/lifewithababy


    Thanks for joining us for today's 
    #PreTermChats about Triggers. 

    Kasia Pytlik joins us to answer your questions about your Triggers. Kasia has been an NICU social worker both at Mount Sinai Hospital and Sunnybrook Hospital over the last six years, supporting families with their NICU journey. She currently splits her time between clinical work and parent programming at Mount Sinai Hospital. 


    Q. What is a trigger and why do they happen?

    A: A trigger is anything that sets off an intense memory or flashback that brings a person back to the place and time of their original trauma. When this happens, a person may have an emotional reaction that is similar to the one he or she experienced at the time of the trauma. Triggers are a very personal and individual thing, and therefore it is hard to pinpoint what might actually be a trigger for you. Triggers are touched off by our senses: sight, touch, sound, smell and taste. For former NICU parents, a trigger may be a smell similar to that of the hand soap that was used at the hospital your baby was at; beeps that sound like the ones on your baby's monitor; or being physically present in the hospital that the trauma was experienced in. Some of these triggers are more obvious than others, but it's important to underline that everyone will experience their past traumas in individual ways triggers, and it might be something that we least expect. It is also important to note that even if you don't experience a trigger that is connected to your trauma doesn't mean that you are "less traumatized" or "emotionally stronger" than someone who does experience a trigger. Everyone processes and assimilates their experiences in their own personal ways.

    Why triggers happen is a much harder question to answer because brain functioning and memories are not completely understood. That being said, sensory memory, and the emotions we attach to these memories, is a very powerful thing--and it can be both positive and negative. Hearing our favourite song that we played endlessly during that carefree summer when we were 16, or eating a favourite meal that an older loved one used to always make us will bring us right back to that moment in our life. Positive memories will usually put a smile to our faces as we let ourselves get taken back in time. The brain functioning and sensory memories that are working in these moments of positive memories are the same ones that are at work when we experience a trigger that causes a rush of negative emotions as well.

    Q. How long do triggers have an affect on my mental health and happiness?

    A: This is hard to pinpoint, again, because trauma and our trigger are so personal and individual. For some people, triggers may be a life-long affliction. My grandmother lived through WWII and still, years after the war and years of living in Canada, she would be struck with fear every time a plane flew over her house.She told me as a young child while she was babysitting me, that she would feel the fear, but then remind herself that she was in Canada and safe, and slowly her fear would subside. There is no right or wrong way to think, feel and respond after experiencing a traumatic event. So don't judge yourself for the reactions you may experience with you have a trigger. Your responses are a normal reaction, to an abnormal event. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with a trigger, and allow yourself the time and space to process your traumatic experience. For some people, the trigger happens, and they are able to identify it, contain it and have developed their own way of working through the emotions that come with the trigger, like my grandmother did. Some triggers, however, are linked to Post Traumatic Stress disorder (PTSD) and may actually ignite a PTSD episode. PTSD is a serious and debilitating response to trauma that interferes with living everyday life. For most people though, as time goes on, the intensity of a trigger will begin to fade and/or you will develop your own ways to deal with the triggering event.

    Q. Question from a Parent:  I have experienced PTSD from our rollercoaster experience with our little one in the NICU and although I haven't had any issues as of recently, I am wondering how to work through my triggers and PTSD so that a future pregnancy doesn't bring on a series of anxiety attacks or just anxiety and stress in general?

    A: For someone who had a traumatic pregnancy and birth, it would be absolutely natural to have some worry and anxiety about their future pregnancy. Worry and anxiety is a normal human emotion, that everyone feels in their everyday life. It is normal to worry or to be scared of something, but it is when chronic worry and intense anxiety that interferes with how we would normally live out our lives that the worry and anxiety becomes a problem. For those women having a subsequent pregnancy after delivering prematurely, they will likely be followed very closely by a physician who specializes in the women who have a history of early deliveries. Speaking to the GTA population, there is mental health support through Mount Sinai's Perinatal Mental Health Team http://www.mountsinai.on.ca/.../maternal-infant.../ , and Women's College Hospital's Reproductive Life Stages program http://www.womenscollegehospital.ca/.../mental-health/RLS/ 

    These programs do require a physician's referral, but if you are working closely to with your OB, she may ask if you want a referral to the program without you initiating the conversation. You may also be linked up with a perinatal social worker at your delivering hospital who can support you through the anxieties of your next pregnancy. If your physician doesn't bring up mental health supports, be a self-advocate and bring it up yourself. Having holistic health care means caring for your mental health as well. 

    I talk more about ways to minimize the occurrence and impact of triggers with another question--read on for that  :)

    Q. What resources are out there for me to speak with others who may be going through the same thing?

    A: A first step may be speaking with your family physician about how you are feeling, and any resources that may be available in your community is always a good way to find some support. Additionally, your local public health department will likely have supports available through their Healthy Babies, Healthy Children program (found only in Ontario). Calling Telehealth Ontario is also another option (1-866-797-0000). This is a 24 hours, 7 days a week service available to get confidential and valid health advice and information from a registered nurse. The Canadian Premature Babies Foundation has started an online support group for NICU parents (http://cpbf-fbpc.org or https://www.facebook.com/.../CanadianPreemieParentsSuppo.../ )

    If you were linked up with a NICU social worker while in the NICU, connect with her to see if there are any local support groups available

    Q. What can I practice at home to help me deal with triggers?

    A: Some might groan at this, but exercise is something that can really help stabilize your nervous system. The release of endorphins that come with exercise, along with the physical movement of your body, can help bring your mind back to it's natural equilibrium. Thirty minutes of exercise on most days is what is recommended. Exercises that have total body movement like fast walking, running, swimming, playing soccer or basketball, and even dancing. Bring on the Zumba! 

    It's also important to get out and socialize. You're natural inclination may be to withdraw from those around you, but the isolation may make things worse. You don't have to talk about the trauma--doing every day things, and developing a routine may bring some comfort. For some, talking about the trauma may be exactly what they need to do, so joining a support group can help. Hearing about how others coped with triggers, and knowing that you aren't the only one facing the same problems can help in your own recovery.

    It may sound cliche to say, but getting enough sleep, avoiding alcohol and drugs, and eating a well-balanced healthy diet can go a long way in minimizing triggers and your ability to contain them when they do occur. 

    When you are in the midst of trigger, there are some ways to minimize the impact of them by self-regulating your nervous system. You can calm yourself using techniques such as mindful deep breathing, and grounding techniques. A grounding technique that you could use is sitting still in a chair and focusing all your attention on one item in the room. Make note of the colours, it's size, where in the room it is positioned. After doing this, you may notice that your breathing has slowed, and is deeper, and calmer. Like most things, exploring different ways to control and calm the emotions that come with trigger will help you develop your own ways of minimizing the impact triggers have one you.

    Q. A question from a parent: I feel like noone understands me. I get anxious everytime I go to the doctor, and my family makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. Is this normal for a parent who has spent long periods of time in the NICU/Hospital?

    A: Absolutely, getting anxious about having to see a doctor after spending a long period of time in the hospital is a normal reaction to have. I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't as supportive as they could be. Our family and friends may not really understand everything that occurred during your baby's NICU stay, and may not truly appreciate how traumatic an NICU admission can be. With any traumatic event, grief comes along with it. Even if the traumatic experience didn't include a death. You're grieving the loss of a long and healthy pregnancy; you're grieving the loss of all that excitement that came along with what you envisioned your pregnancy to be. Many people will not understand your grief, but that doesn't make it less real for you. As well, processing that grief has no timeline. As with a lot of things, the healing that comes from a traumatic event is so personal and individual that some may have a longer or shorter time to process the grief and trauma they've experienced. 

    If you are really looking for someone who does understand you, there are support groups available through your public health department. If you're not a group person, linking up with a counsellor, or a therapist may be the thing that you need to help support you through this part of your life. It doesn't mean you'll have to see that therapist forever either; even one or two sessions can help validate some of the feelings you have and provide an outlet to someone who is removed from your everyday life. It's amazing how liberating one feels after a good session of talking it out.

    Q. Question from a parent: What if I feel like I cannot deal with it on my own? It's been years, and it's just not going away... who should I talk to? Who CAN I talk to?

    A: First off, I'm so sorry to hear that you've not been feeling like yourself for so long! It must be so challenging (and frustrating!) not being able to live your truest self. Your family doctor is someone that you can speak to about this, and she/he can also refer you to a therapist, or counsellor in your community. You can also self refer to a counsellor. Here is a link of where you can find qualified therapists in your area: https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/.../ON/Toronto.html 

    Keep in mind that finding the RIGHT therapist is important. It's okay to see a few different therapists to get a feel for what their therapeutic style is. Professional therapists are aware that their frist-time clients do this, and shouldn't be offended if you decide to get support elsewhere. When seeing your therapist for the first time, make a note of some key details: do you feel comfortable and safe when talking about your problems with this person? Do you feel like the therapist understands you, or is making an effort to see where you are coming from? Were your concerns taken seriously, and not minimized? Did your therapist treat you with compassion and respect? You may find it difficult to trust someone right away, but with time do you think you could grow to trust this person?

    I think it's also important to note that reaching out for support from a professional does not, by any means, indicate that you are "weak", or 'flawed", or "incapable". There is still so much stigma attached to reaching out to mental health supports in our society. But if you had a broken arm, EVERYONE would be urging you to see a doctor! Our mental health should be no different. It is absolutely hard to reach out for support sometimes. We don't want to be a burden. We want to be "strong enough" to get through it on our own. Sometimes reaching out for professional support IS the strongest thing that you can do. And as mentioned already, just because you link up with a therapist does not mean this is a long term commitment. Sometimes just a few sessions is enough to help us process our experiences in a way that we are able to incorporate them into our life story, so that we are able to fully engage and focus on our current moment in life.

    Q: I had my daughter at 33weeks very suddenly, and a week later my sister had a still born at 37 weeks. As a family, I am still dealing with the grief and trauma from both, and while personally I believe my sister had a much more difficult experience, I often find my sister discounting my experience, and my healing from my birth and grieving the loss of my nephew. Do you have any tips on how to handle my sister grief while still honouring my trauma?

    A: I am so sorry to hear this, (name). The best thing that you can do for your sister is to listen to her (when she feels like talking about it), and try not judge the thoughts and feelings that your sister is going through. This will be really tough for your entire family to go through, and it will take time for her to heal and process her time. Grief is a natual response to any sort of loss in life, and giving both yourself, and your sister, permission to feel the grief will go a long way in both of your healing journeys. You have a double whammy of having the task of not only being there to support your sister, but also of having to process your own NICU truama and grief. Be kind to yourself, and try to practice as much self-care as you can at this time (while also caring for a newborn). If your sister is not currently receiving professional support, encourage her to do so. And be aware that it may be difficult for your sister to see your daughter, as least in the first little while. This may hurt, but giving your sister her space to process this life experience may be the best thing for her right now.

    TB: It's comforting knowing we are on the right track. It's been just over a year, and my sister has always been great with being around my daughter, and now she has a daughter of her own. I'm very open and considerate of how she is feeling, but sometimes if I do something that I feel helps me heal, it triggers for her and I have mixed emotions on the best course of action.

    A:  Healing is never a smooth ride--it's messy agonizing ride. I wish I could give you a textbook way to remedy how to naviagate both of your journies at the same time. But, with many things, what may help one person, may be a trigger another person. Which is exactly what has happened between your sister and you. The single best way to minimize the affect of this is to keep your communications with your sister open, honest, and compassionate. Your sister sounds understanding of your own grief. As long as she is able to understand where you are coming from with your own healing techniques, then this may lessen the impact the trigger may have on her. You can even premptively say "I'm going to do something that will help me heal, but I recognize that this may be triggering for you--so I'm giving you an out to not participate in x-y-z and I promise that I won't take it personally".




    Wow! This has been a fantastic and supportive chat, filled with tons of information and resources. Thank you Kasia, for your expertise on the topic of Triggers and taking the time out of your day to be here with us.


    Parents: This chat will be taken from here and posted as a blong on www.lifewithababy.com in the next few days. This is so those of you who missed the chat or want to refer back to the resources have it all in one place.

    Thank you again for joining us and we look forward to chatting again soon for our monthly #PreTermChats!



    #Triggers #NICU #MtSinai #NICU #Preemie #PreemiePower #Premature #PrematureBirth #Sunnybrook #Neonatal 

  • Thursday, August 03, 2017 5:51 PM | Denise (Administrator)

    Fern Resort 在多倫多北面,距離多倫多約個多兩小時車程。Fern Resort 是一個全包的渡假村,全包的意思,是指除了住宿之外,還包括三餐,活動,兒童及青少年活動,甚至托兒服務。

    這是我們第二次前往Fern Resort 渡週末. 汽車一轉入楊柳垂垂的 Fern Resort Road, 隨即湧起了一陣熟悉的感覺。我們熟練地把車停泊在停車場,拿起簡單的行李,到接待處登記。

    我們的房間在 Hearthside Inn, 從露台外望,藍天白雲,下面是碧波蕩漾的游泳池,襯托著白色的桌椅,好一幅寫意的圖畫!

    登記時服務員已給了我們一份當天的活動表,兒童青少年以年紀劃分,還有成人活動。女兒急不及待地在查看:跳彈床,槳船,釣魚,自行車,泳池遊戲……  即使部份收費活動,如坐船出湖釣魚或是欣賞日落的遊船河,也只是七至十塊錢的費用。

    登記時服務員已給了我們一份當天的活動表,兒童青少年以年紀劃分,還有成人活動。女兒急不及待地在查看:跳彈床,槳船,釣魚,自行車,泳池遊戲……  即使部份收費活動,如坐船出湖釣魚或是欣賞日落的遊船河,也只是七至十塊錢的費用。

    對我們一家而言,是一個無需乘坐飛機,也無需舟居勞動,無需擔心食物食水安全或員工質素而又適合所有家庭的渡假勝地。


  • Monday, July 31, 2017 2:18 PM | Denise (Administrator)

    It is our 2nd time going to the Fern Resort. 

    We couldn’t go on Friday afternoon due to a work commitment.  Therefore we headed out early Saturday morning.

    As soon as we turned into road leading to the entrance, we felt like “home”. 

    Our check-in was very smooth.  The front desk staff were very friendly and even reminded us to go to dining room for breakfast.

    We stayed at the same building of last year, Hearthside Inn.  Each room has a balcony.   This time our room is facing the swimming pool.  The view is colorful with the blue water, white sun tables & chairs and red roof…… 

    My 11 years old couldn’t wait to check out the activities of the day.  Trampoline, biking, fishing, poolside games, scavenger hunt…… and there’s paddle boat!!!  So many to choose from.  Best of all, it’s all inclusive.  Some may have a small fee to pay, such as fishing in the lake or taking a sunset cruise but it only cost $7-$10.  

    We booked our poolside BBQ for lunch as the weather was beautiful.  There are a lot of choices from the food: hot dog, hamburger, pizza, all sort of sandwiches, taco, fries, poutine, salad, cupcakes, tarts and ice cream…… you will definitely find something.  In fact I found it difficult to decide what I want because there are too many choices. Hahaha! 

    Have I mentioned that Fern offers not just children & youth programs but also babysitting services?  We have 1 child and we did everything there with her but many of our fellow families have more than 1 kids and most are young children.  So they really love this babysitting services.  Dining room opens at 5pm for kids’ buffet dinner so that parents can feed their kids and send them off to the Play Village.  Then relax to have a date night with candle light dinner.  How nice!!!

    Perhaps the biggest discovery for us this time is the Ping Pong games.  I am not an very athletic person and there are many activities that I cannot do with my daughter.  However, we discovered Ping Pong at the Mary Lou Hall.  This is the only “sports” that I am able to do it with my daughter.  We spent a great amount of time playing Ping Pong.  We have so much fun that I think I am going to set up Ping Pong at home.

    Fern Resort is like going to cruise or any all-inclusive overseas resorts without flying.  It is just 1.5-2 hrs drive up north.  It is very family oriented and every member in the family can surely find something to suit their needs. 

    We can’t wait to come again next time!!!


  • Sunday, July 30, 2017 9:22 AM | CONNIE (Administrator)
    Life With A Baby has just announced their new partnership with Weight Watchers Canada and I am soooooo excited about this relationship. Here's why!

    Back in 2010 when my first son was born, I decided to bite the bullet and take care of my post baby weight plus some much overdue pre-baby weight :)    I signed up for the Weight Watchers online program and successfully lost 20lbs quite easily.  I felt great!  It was easy and completely safe to do while breastfeeding.  I honestly feel like the program saved my new mom mental health during mat leave.    



    Then....... well...... "life with a new baby" got in the way :)  I gained it all back and more!      Once my second born was 3 years old and I turned 30, I decided to take my life and weight back into control. I was not at a good place in my life.  I felt stressed, lack of energy and completely undesirable.  

    I created my own private local LWAB Weight Watchers Group in Mount Albert last September.   After just 4 months, I reached my goal and became a Life Time Member.  In addition, I met some of my best friends today.  The peer to peer support from the group model really helped me this time around.  Being surrounded by like-minded ladies who all understood the challenges of being a mom was key to my success and I can't thank "my girls" enough. 

    Connie July 2015 vs. July 2017 (current)
    40lbs total loss



    Today I am proud to announce that I am also now a Weight Watchers Group Leader.  I am I am very excited about bringing the WW program to all of our LWAB Members and helping other local new moms achieve their weight loss goals.


    Enjoy the program and looking forward to the possibility of working with you!

    Connie Berenguer
    LWAB Community Development Manager & Weight Watchers Group Leader
    connie@lifewithababy.com

    --------------------------

    Life With A Baby is excited to announce our new and exciting partnership with Weight Watchers Canada!

    Our members will now have access to EXCLUSIVE RATES on this popular program. 

    CLICK HERE for our special LWAB rates on Monthly Passes at existing WW Community Meeting Rooms.



    In addition, we will be launching new baby-friendly LWAB Private Member Weight Watchers groups across several of our chapters.  Please see below a listing of some upcoming LWAB WW groups.  

    We all know the research surrounding positive maternal mental health and social time, peer to peer support & healthy active living on preventing / helping with #PPD.  This new partnership will be a great resource for our member base and in alignment with the Life With A Baby mandate.

    To learn more about the Weight Watchers program and how it work, please visit their website at www.weightwatchers.com


    If you have questions about the LWAB Weight Watchers program partnership, please direct them to our very own LWAB Community Development Manager and new Weight Watchers Group Leader, Connie Berenguer at connie@lifewithababy.com.  



    Upcoming LWAB Weight Watchers Groups (York Region North Area)

    Wednesday Evenings @ 7:30 pm

    *  Mount Albert Group (ladies only)  
    *  Existing group / able to join late starting July!  
    *  New round starting late September
    *  Email connie@lifewithababy.com for more details

    Monday Mornings @ 10:00am

    Mom & Baby Aurora Group @ Urban Park Play Yard

    Thursday Mornings @ 10:00am

    Mom & Baby Newmarket Group @ Play Lounge 

    If you are interested in an exclusive LWAB Weight Watchers group in your chapter area, please email your local community manager your stated interest.   Note that we need 15-20 members in a chapter area to run a group.  Groups will be created based on member demand.  


  • Saturday, July 29, 2017 2:43 PM | claire (Administrator)

    We are seeking an exceptional leader with a passion for making difference and to lead the development of Life With A Baby chapters across Canada. You will have overall responsibility for strategic and operational planning, stakeholder relations, budgeting and finance, and human resources. You will report directly to Executive Director and effectively manage and conduct the business of the Association in accordance with the Organization's priorities and strategic objectives as well as the mission, constitution, by-laws and policies and procedures.

    Key Responsibilities and Accountabilities

    • Provide strategic leadership in accordance with the priorities to develop strategic and operating plans for Life With A Baby
    • Provide operational leadership and structure to realize the goals of Life With A Baby
    • Develop, maintain and leverage relationships with members, partner associations, government and other agencies to further the mission of the Association.
    • Keep informed about and communicate all matters that may substantively affect the operation of member local Life With A Baby Chapter
    • Develop the annual program budget and overall financial management practices that demonstrate fiscal responsibility of Life With A Baby.

    The Ideal Candidate

    • Have knowledge of and a demonstrated passion for Parental Mental Health
    • Possess a minimum of 5 years experience in the broader public or non-profit sector, with a proven track record reporting to a board of directors and running a not-for-profit organization.
    • Have a degree in a relevant field (health, business administration, public administration or a related field) or an equivalent combination of education and experience.
    • Are a compelling communicator with a demonstrated ability to foster an environment of open communication, collaboration and trust.
    • Balance vision with performance and are both strategic and tactical with the ability to chart future direction while developing and implementing operational plans.
    • Are an effective change leader, able to manage and lead system change with demonstrated success in leading and facilitating change initiatives.
    • Have experience working with government agencies and strong knowledge of provincial government operations and the provincial political environment.
    • Have experience leading a team, including directing and mentoring staff.
    • Have strong knowledge of good governance practices, operational management, including strategic planning, and human resources practices.
    • Have experience working with the media.
    • Have demonstrated financial experience in budget development and management.
    • Can effectively manage multiple tasks with excellent time management skills.
    • Are self-motivated, self-directed, a self-starter and highly organized.

    This is a part-time contract with the option for a longer term renewal. Please submit your resume and CV to claire.zlobin@lifewithababy.com 


  • Tuesday, July 25, 2017 2:55 PM | Nicole (Administrator)
    • Find a list of parks across Prince Edward Island here
      • Find a map of playgrounds across Prince Edward Island here

    Charlottetown

    Souris

    • Attend a festival or event in Souris – find times and locations here
      • Some free events include Live at Basin Head, Farmers’ Markets, and Fortune Fun Days
    • Find parks in Souris here

    Summerside

    Across Canada

    • Free 2017 Parks Canada Discovery Pass– with this pass you have unlimited opportunities to enjoy national parks, national marine conservation areas and national historic sites across the country that are managed by Parks Canada
      • Find a Park in your region here
    • Go to a free kids’ workshop at Home Depot – find a location near you here


  • Tuesday, July 25, 2017 2:54 PM | Nicole (Administrator)
    • Find parks and playgrounds across Nova Scotia here
    • Find some splash pads across Nova Scotia here

    Halifax

    Cape Breton Island

    • Find a festival or event to attend here
    • Find a list of beaches and parks in Cape Breton here

    Across Canada

    • Free 2017 Parks Canada Discovery Pass– with this pass you have unlimited opportunities to enjoy national parks, national marine conservation areas and national historic sites across the country that are managed by Parks Canada
      • Find a Park in your region here
    • Go to a free kids’ workshop at Home Depot – find a location near you here


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