I love Adele. I may
not always love her music the way some people do – absolutely nothing
against her, however I can only take her tunes in short spurts before I feel like I
should be drowning in my own melancholy sea of tears – but overall, I
really appreciate her, and the rawness that she is as a performer, and her
bluntness as a human being.
I recently read the Vanity Fair cover article featuring Adele, which you can also read yourself here, where she
discussed her battle with Postpartum Depression.
Like Adele, and along
with thousands of other moms, I also felt a certain amount of pressure, the kind of pressure that told you it was a necessity to match and live up to the acceptable behaviours
of what society's expectations were. The very purpose of me being born was eventually to have
children, at least that’s what I was made to believe. Never mind that I was a
feminist, and that I was an empowered woman with a very promising career in a
predominantly male concentrated industry at the time. Yes, I was allowed to have all of
that, but as long as I also pushed out at least a tiny human or two all the
while accomplishing all the above.
Do I regret having my
Would you judge me
harshly if I say “yes"?
I can’t speak for
others, but I can very much relate with what Adele went through. As someone who
lives with chronic depression, and have been most of my life, I have become fairly in
tune with my own daily struggles, but when postpartum was added on top of it, the
struggles were extra tough. Even for a seasoned individual who recognized most
of her own relapses, navigating through each postpartum day was tough enough
for me to feel deep regret of the choice I made in having a child during that
I had no problems discussing my "normal regular chronic depression" with anyone. Yet ironically, these daily regrets brought on by PPD wasn’t something I wanted to openly talk about in the beginning, because
society has an expectation of us.
The amount of pressure
we face as women in being acceptable to society is already immense; add a newborn,
and rapid fluctuating hormones, it makes new moms just that much more vulnerable.
Yet, the part of our
brain that feels the need to live up to “expectations” stays strong, so we hide
it. We hide what we are feeling, we think there’s something wrong with us.
According to the checklist of the perfect life, we’ve pretty much clicked off
most of it, so what the fuck are we crying about it?
Being a new mom for me
was the very definition of juxtaposition. There was so much love for my baby,
but I hated the life that I was living in.
I don't regret having my 2 girls, but when you are drowning in PPD, you can definitely feel that way, every single damn day.
I’m encouraged to see that Adele, along with few other prominent celebrities that have opened up about their PPD, is bringing attention to this subject matter. It also highlights the fact that there is still a huge need to continue to educate
the masses and bring awareness and conversations on PPD wherever, whenever. Her PPD journey is our PPD journey too.
Life With A Baby is
the very resource that focuses on making this dialogue easy for everyone. There
is no shame in how you feel as a new mother, because we are not perfect, and we
shouldn’t be perfect.
Let’s continue to make
the topic of PPD more widespread, and into a common subject matter, the type of
topic that gets acknowledged just like you would when you tell someone that you
cut yourself, and you need medical attention. In order to do that, we encourage
and welcome everyone to open up and share their motherhood journey, no matter
how tough or easy the path is.