Miscarriage after my first pregnancy

  • Wednesday, February 03, 2010 12:40 PM
    Message # 278753
    Nadia

    Hi Everybody!!

    I have a 27 month old daughter, but when I got pregnant for the second time I had what is called a "missed miscarriage".

    It was different from the beggining, from my first pregnancy, so I knew something was going wrong, and of course after too many ultrasounds, blood tests and visits to ER, I had to accepted.. was no baby!! even when my body was "pregnant".

    I had an D&C procedure, close to the 10th week.

    I don't really now how to feel about, it is just hard to understad.. has been a month already and I still have problems sleeping.. and the truth is I'm afraid of getting pregnant again..

     
  • Wednesday, February 03, 2010 3:14 PM
    Reply # 278907 on 278753
    Claire (Administrator)
    Hi Nadia,
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  My heart goes out to you.  We have an upcoming workshop in April for moms like yourself who have had a miscarriage.

    It will take some time, but you will feel better
    -Claire
  • Thursday, March 18, 2010 5:34 PM
    Reply # 311076 on 278753
    Deleted user
    Hi Nadia.  Two of my very close friends had the same condition a year ago.  But several months later one got pregnant and was successful.  Her baby is 6 months now and had no medical issues.  The other one decided to wait longer before trying to conceive again.  T'was so hard for them, being very anxious almost paranoid, and we had to stick with them almost every weekend to help them cope.  I organized group activities and small for-no-reason parties just to get them around people.  I think the most brutal state is being alone with their thoughts and hormones.
     
    Missed miscarriages, the doctors said, are rare and does not threaten the following conceptions nor the health of the mother. I hope you're a bit over it by now, and LWAB activities suggested by Claire earlier will be a big help.  Thanks very much for the courage of sharing your experience.  It has a very positive impact to empower moms, and dads as well.


    Last modified: Thursday, March 18, 2010 5:34 PM | Deleted user
  • Monday, March 29, 2010 12:32 AM
    Reply # 316788 on 278753
    Linda
    Nadia Montoya wrote:

    Hi Everybody!!

    I have a 27 month old daughter, but when I got pregnant for the second time I had what is called a "missed miscarriage".

    It was different from the beggining, from my first pregnancy, so I knew something was going wrong, and of course after too many ultrasounds, blood tests and visits to ER, I had to accepted.. was no baby!! even when my body was "pregnant".

    I had an D&C procedure, close to the 10th week.

    I don't really now how to feel about, it is just hard to understad.. has been a month already and I still have problems sleeping.. and the truth is I'm afraid of getting pregnant again..

     


    Hi Nadia!

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Almost 5 years ago my husband and I lost our daughter Jada (first born).  I had a very painful and complicated pregnancy.  At 25 weeks I went into premature labour.  Jada was born alive.  She was in the NICU at women's college and then sick kids.  Although Jada was very stronge, she was too early, and eventually suffered health complications from being premature.  Our first time holding our daughter was to say good-bye.  She died in our arms.  She lived for 11 days.

     Every parent's worst nightmare for us was a reality. The pain is HELL. I wanted to kill myself.  Lost meaning in life.  I felt empty and lost.  About a month later I started attending a support group that sick kids told me about.  PBSO.ca  It is a non-profit organzing that provide support group for couples/people who have suffered various types of pregnancy loss.   They also have a different support group for those who do decide to try again after the loss(es).  It was very helpful.  Eventually I became one of the facilitators.

    You mentioned the fear of getting pregnant again.  I understand completely.  I was there.  Even though knowing our risks, we did decide to try again (almost 3 years later).  I will be frank, it is very scary.  But this time, with great doctors, constant montoring, as well as attending the support group, we gave birth to our now 22 month old daughter HOPE.  I don't think I need to explain why I named her HOPE.

    When one looses a child (and it does not matter how far along you were in your pregnancy, a loss is a loss) it is very hard to understand or know what to feel.  It is not the law of the universe.  Our children are suppose to bury us not the other way around.

    There is an emptiness in my heart and in our lives that will always be there.  The pain never goes away completely, it just becomes different (not as intense or frequent).  But you will always remember. 

    I think the support group will be very helpful for you in coping with your loss as well as your fears.  But you do it in your own time.  Just take it 1 minute or day at a time.

    Linda

     
  • Sunday, September 19, 2010 9:56 PM
    Reply # 421139 on 278753
    Deleted user
    Linda, that's very well said.  Very inspiring and comforting.

    I have had another couple of girl friends who recently went through the same thing.  Its just beginning to sound too common, but uttterly sad.  Has any diagnostics made it clear why the following pregnancies become, say, weaker?
    Last modified: Sunday, September 19, 2010 9:56 PM | Deleted user