I'm having separation anxiety

  • Monday, December 07, 2009 5:10 PM
    Message # 254143
    Claire (Administrator)
    My husband wants us to go away on vacation without our daughter, but every time Ir think about it, I get a bit of a panicked reaction.  Logically, I know it's a good idea for us to go alone and re-connect and I know she will well cared for while we are away, but in my heart it hurts when I think about it.
     
    Our family doctor (who's our mediator when we can't agree) said it's a good idea for me to go and is the one who told me I have separation anxiety. He said it's normal.

    Do anyone else feel this way?  As a first time mom, have you vacationed without your baby?  How did it feel?

    Are there any other moms in my situation where your partner wants to go away just the two of you, but you are finding it difficult to leave the baby? 

    Thanks
    Claire
  • Tuesday, December 08, 2009 12:29 PM
    Reply # 254420 on 254143
    Deleted user

    Hey Claire,

    I know that I wouldn't think of leaving Liam with anyone for that long.. but we don't even have that option. Perhaps if we did, I would actually consider it.. if you are planning on futher travels in the future without munchkin, I guess you need to start at some point?
  • Tuesday, December 08, 2009 3:55 PM
    Reply # 254505 on 254143
    Anna

    I think it's a good idea to have a little bit of time on your own and be just a two grown ups. Of course I'm not talking about a month of vacations:) but like 2-3 days wouldn't be so bad. And after that you could see if it was as good or as bad as you'd imagine and decide for a longer one if you liked it.

  • Tuesday, December 08, 2009 8:46 PM
    Reply # 254614 on 254505
    Claire (Administrator)
    Anna Sakoun wrote:

    I think it's a good idea to have a little bit of time on your own and be just a two grown ups. Of course I'm not talking about a month of vacations:) but like 2-3 days wouldn't be so bad. And after that you could see if it was as good or as bad as you'd imagine and decide for a longer one if you liked it.


    Hey Anna,
    We have gone without her for a weekend before and even though I missed her it was fun. I think it felt different b/c we were still in Ontario.  If we go away it will be the Caribbean and to be in a completely different country where it's not just a few hours drive is what is bothering me.

    Have you guys Vacationed without Viki?


     
  • Wednesday, December 09, 2009 4:38 PM
    Reply # 255037 on 254614
    Anna
    Claire (Alexia) Zlobin wrote:
    Anna Sakoun wrote:

    I think it's a good idea to have a little bit of time on your own and be just a two grown ups. Of course I'm not talking about a month of vacations:) but like 2-3 days wouldn't be so bad. And after that you could see if it was as good or as bad as you'd imagine and decide for a longer one if you liked it.


    Hey Anna,
    We have gone without her for a weekend before and even though I missed her it was fun. I think it felt different b/c we were still in Ontario.  If we go away it will be the Caribbean and to be in a completely different country where it's not just a few hours drive is what is bothering me.

    Have you guys Vacationed without Viki?


     

    No, we haven't yet. We don't have the luxury of having the rest of our family here (so grandparents could watch her while we are away), and I don’t feel like living Viki at a daycare for a weekJ

    Ok, I can see you point about the difference between going away within a 2 hours drive and 4 hours flight. I’m not sure I am ready myself for that kind of vacationsJ I was thinking like over the weekend type of thing.

  • Tuesday, January 12, 2010 10:55 PM
    Reply # 267718 on 254143
    Sugy

    Hi Claire,

    we've travelled lots with our little one but never without her. We are actually planning on taking a trip without her in February for almost a week and leaving her with her grandparents and I am totally nervous about it. I think this is normal for every parent!! She's done overnight and weekend stays at grandma and grandpa's but never more than 2 days. I think your doctor is right..it is separation anxiety for us..not them.

    I guess the key is being prepared. My sister travels a lot w/o her kids (and with her kids too!) and some things that I know she does when she leaves them in s/o else's care are:

    1) make sure that your caregiver has key emergency contact numbers which are cleary posted in their house and also in diaper bag. Not just your own contact info at your destination & cell phone etc -  but also pediatrician's #, local emergency department of hospital, poison control, telehealth, etc

    2) leave health card or photocopy of health card (copy in diaper bag)

    3) leave letter authorizing caregiver to accompany and act as caregiver in event of urgent or emergent health care problem (also include your contact info on the letter saying that you want to be notified immediately and prior to any decisions) - copy in diaper bag

    4) if any meds ever need to be administered, clearly right out instructions and proper dosing

    I also think doing what you can to make the caregiver's life easier helps them but also you sleep easier at night. For example:

    -pre-install all car-seats in their vehicle and make sure they know how to put your baby/toddler in correctly,

    -type out a schedule of a typical day and examples of foods they like or can't eat (allergies, food restrictions),

    -help them baby proof their home with plug outlets, gates, etc.

    Hope this is helpful.

    Sugy.

     
  • Tuesday, January 19, 2010 2:10 PM
    Reply # 270712 on 254143
    Deleted user
    I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old and have still yet to go away (even for a weekend).  The most important thing is whether or not you are comfortable leaving your baby.  If you go away feeling worried about your child or resentful towards your husband for pressuring you it won't be a fun vacation anyways.  Even if you leave the baby with your most trusted confident, if you're not comfortable with it, then you're just not.  One day we'll be able to vacation without them and they won't even miss us.  I cherish these days where my babies are still as attached to me as I am to them.  Good Luck!
  • Friday, July 02, 2010 11:11 PM
    Reply # 375578 on 254143
    Kimberly
    Im up to about 3 hours away from Riley....thats enough time away for me thanks!!! I think I am one big walking case of seperation anxiety!
  • Tuesday, September 21, 2010 12:25 AM
    Reply # 421834 on 254143
    Grace
    I would like to go on vacation without the baby, but it's my husband that doesn't want to leave the baby at home...
  • Wednesday, October 27, 2010 11:31 PM
    Reply # 452540 on 421834
    Kimberly
    Grace wrote:I would like to go on vacation without the baby, but it's my husband that doesn't want to leave the baby at home...

    you can go and take my husband with you!!! LOL!