When I gave birth to our first child almost 5 years ago, I had the most difficult time in breastfeeding. I went through all sorts of struggles in trying to get my daughter to breastfeed. The only struggle I did not have was my milk supply. For the first 12 weeks, I pumped most of the time. At first, I didn’t know how much my daughter needed, it wasn’t until a few weeks in, when I got matched with a specialist lactation consultant that dealt with infant feeding issues that worked hand in hand with me on regulating the amount my daughter actually needed, which also helped with her reflux issues.

All this pumping as a result yielded me an enormous surplus of milk…and down the drain it went, because I didn’t know what to do with it back then. Somewhere between my first and second child, I came across some reading on breastfeeding moms donating or selling their excess milk, and that got filed into the back of my head as “cool and interesting”.

Then my second child came, again, we went through the same breastfeeding challenges, right away I’m pumping, and just like the first time, I had no struggles in producing an abundant supply of milk…but I’d forgotten about the “cool and interesting” information I’d read on donating or selling breast milk. While pregnant and postpartum, I was on anti-depressants, therefore, it warranted a home visit by a public health nurse to make sure I was ok.

Two weeks after my return from the hospital, the nurse visited me and mostly chatted with me on how I was coping. During the conversation, the topic of breastfeeding came up, and I told her the amount of milk I was producing. She was in awe, and the words that came out of her mouth were “Oh my goodness, you produce enough to feed another child, you could have had twins and still had leftovers!” she then continued “You should donate your milk!”

I was then reminded of the information I’d read previously. I like the idea that any excess milk I had wouldn’t go to waste, so I looked into donating my surplus to the hospital.I found the Milk Bank Ontario website and contacted them to get screened to become a milk donor. I’m denied due to the fact that I was still on anti-depressants. I wasn’t sure how long I would continue with the medication, my mental health was very important to me, and I wasn’t going to stop it for fear of postpartum kicking in.

Upon being rejected as a donor, I felt a little disappointed. I took my emotions on to LWAB’s sister Facebook group Managing The Motherload, and a few mothers suggested that I post my offer to another Facebook group Human Milk For Human Babies.

So I did.

I posted the amount of supply I had, and I was also very transparent in that I was on anti-depressants. The amount of responses I’d received within a few hours after the post went live was overwhelming. Essentially, I pretty much responded to the first mom that contacted me, and worked my way down that list. The first 2 moms didn’t work out, first one was because of transportation challenges, and the second one would have been the recipient, but forfeited because they were adopting and there was a holdup, so it went to the third mom.

Third mom came from Oshawa, she could not breastfeed because she simply couldn’t produce milk after medical surgery. The first time I met her, I did not really know what to expect. I know it wasn’t, but it kind of felt like a blind date. I remember for some odd reason, I felt the need to brush my hair, as if that made a difference whether my breast milk would make a better impression than if I left my hair the usual postpartum mess.

My recipient mom showed up at my door and we hit it off, if I may say so myself, and for the next 6 months, I continued to pump as much as I could, and each time when I had no more room in my deep freezer, which usually is once every 3-4 weeks, I’d contact her and she would make arrangements to come and pick it up, and each time she would leave a handful of storage bags for me, which I really appreciated her replenishing. We also became friends, I think I can say that, considering we’ve chatted over messages regarding parenting woes and other things. We’ve even had a play date.

Then came time when it was time for her to go back to work. She could no longer make the trek to come out and do her usual pick up, and her baby was hitting the 1 year mark as well, so she decided it was time to transition him.

My last batch of milk, she forfeited and I gave to another mom.

I didn’t think I’d have this type of feeling, but when she told me that she transitioned her baby, and that she no longer needed milk, I felt a sense of sadness, like the type of sadness you feel when your kid goes off to college (not that I know what that feels like yet, but I’m thinking that would be similar). But this sadness was also lined with a sense of content, because I know that I was able to contribute to a mom and her baby in achieving what they wanted to achieve. The couple of times I’d had a cold, or my own baby had a cold, my recipient mom would be very excited because her baby was also benefiting from the antibodies my body was making.  

My own baby is 10 months old, and I’m also in transition with my own child in preparations for daycare. This means the end of my journey as a milk donor mom. I still chat with my recipient mom every so often, and I would love to continue our developing friendship.

Human Milk For Human Babies is a great exchange resource for moms that are either in need of milk or would like to donate extra milk. There are different area chapter groups on Facebook, so pick the appropriate one that corresponds with your area. As a recipient, please do your due diligence and ask questions of your donor mom. In Canada, there’s very little selling of breast milk, therefore, there is generally less concerns. South of the border, there’s more selling than donating, and when money is part of the equation, some people can take unethical actions such as diluting it with water, which may not be a big deal for an older child, but in an infant, can be dangerous. As a courtesy, please replenish the storage bags for the mom, as the costs do add up. As a donor, treat it like you would with your own infant, what you donate to your recipient mom, you should feel just as comfortable in feeding it to your baby.

To find your area chapter, please visit Human Milk For Human Babies: http://hm4hb.net/community-pages/