This blog is about life with a baby. It's not always what you expect and there is definitely no job description. Every baby is different and unique which is why motherhood can be so scary, fun, terrifying, exciting, and rewarding all at the same time.

Be sure to also check out our Travel Blog where you can share and read stories about travelling with the family.

We encourage you to share your experiences - by sharing your experiences and commenting on other posts, you may be helping other moms.

<< First  < Prev   ...   29   30   31   32   33   Next >  Last >> 
  • Thursday, July 03, 2008 1:57 PM | Marina
    Everything I read tells me to put my baby down while he's still awake so that he can learn how to soothe himself to sleep. Sounds good, but how do I actually do this?

    Expert Answers

    Deborah Lin-Dyken, pediatric sleep disorders expert

    You can't really teach your baby how to self-soothe, but you can provide him with the opportunity to teach himself. Given the right circumstances and the right stage of development, usually between 3 and 6 months of age, it will happen on its own. It's like learning to crawl: If you always carry your baby, he'll never have a chance to discover crawling, since he'll never be on the floor long enough to figure it out. It's the same thing with self-soothing: If you always nurse or rock your baby to sleep, he'll never have a chance to learn how to soothe himself to sleep.

    How can you help your baby do this? First, you need to set the stage, which includes two things: a regular bedtime and a consistent routine. A bedtime that occurs at the same time every night will set your baby's internal clock so that he's naturally sleepy at a predictable time. The bedtime routine should happen in the place you want your baby to sleep and include three or four soothing activities, such as taking a bath, reading a story and having a cuddle, that let him know it's time for "night-night." When the bedtime routine is finished, put your baby to bed drowsy but awake.

    Many babies will surprise you and drift off to sleep without much protest. Other babies, especially older ones who may have come to depend on being nursed or rocked to sleep, will need a bit of practice. Remember, self-soothing is just like crawling — it takes time and opportunity. You can teach your baby all at once and wait outside your baby's room, checking on him as frequently or infrequently as you wish. Or you can make it a more gradual process, sitting next to your baby's crib and easing yourself farther away each night — sitting in the middle of the room, sitting in the doorway and so on.

    If your baby is used to breast- or bottle-feeding as he goes to sleep in your arms, you'll have to break his need to suck to sleep. You can move your child's feeding to earlier in the bedtime routine or slowly reduce the number of ounces or number of minutes of this feeding. Or when you see your baby starting to drift off during a feeding, promptly end his meal and finish the rest of the bedtime routine before laying him down.

    Although some people believe that you should never wake a sleeping baby, keep the big picture in mind. On any particular night, waking your baby after he's drifted off may seem crazy, especially when you're beat and have a million things to do before turning in yourself. But when you remember your long-term goal of helping your baby develop the ability to soothe himself to sleep, both at bedtime and when he naturally wakes up during the night, it's well worth doing.

    What happens if you've given your baby plenty of chances to self-soothe and he just can't seem to do it? Take a step back and try to figure out why. Perhaps he's simply too young and doesn't yet have the developmental ability to self-soothe, just as a 3-month-old can spend hours on the living room floor yet still won't be able to crawl .In this case, wait a few days, weeks or even months before trying again.

    Or maybe your baby is too tired — and thus too overwrought — to settle down by himself. In this case, try moving his bedtime a bit earlier so he isn't a complete wreck by lights-out. Finally, think about whether you're really giving your baby an opportunity to find ways to soothe himself, or are rushing in to comfort him at his first peep and depriving him of the chance to figure it out on his own.

    Most important, keep your goal in mind: Developing the ability to soothe himself to sleep will enable your baby to snooze for longer stretches and put himself back to sleep when he naturally wakes up during the night, allowing him to get the rest he needs to grow and thrive. What's more, self-soothing is an important life skill that will serve your baby well not just at bedtime but also in other situations, such as when he's separated from you at daycare or even when you momentarily walk out of the room, when he gets frustrated trying to master all those other important skills such as — you guessed it — crawling, or when he's just feeling fussy.


  • Friday, June 27, 2008 11:04 AM | Claire (Administrator)
    Hi moms,
    Post a topic, comment or start a forum and receive a free personalized gift for your baby.
    This gift will be based on your baby's name and will include: root, origin and meaning of the name as well as a personal message from you, such as "Love always, mommy & daddy"  followed by baby's birthdate.  If you have more than one child or twin you can also put the two names on one sheet.

    Once you make a post, you will be send a list of backgrounds that you can choose from and then your gift will be mailed out to you.
    Here are some examples of what you will receive.

    names example.jpgnames.jpgname.jpgdouble name.jpg
  • Tuesday, June 03, 2008 12:49 PM | Marina

    Growth and Development

    Separation Anxiety

    What is separation anxiety?

    Part of a baby's normal development is learning that separations from parents are not permanent. Young babies do not understand time, so they think a parent who walks out of the room is gone forever. Also, they have not yet developed the concept of object permanence - that a hidden object is still there, it just cannot be seen. Without these concepts, babies become anxious and fearful when a parent leaves their sight. Separation anxiety usually begins around the age of 6 months. Babies may suddenly be afraid of familiar people such as babysitters or grandparents. Stranger anxiety is also common at this age, when they are fearful of unknown people. Separation anxiety is usually at its peak between 10 and 18 months. It typically ends by the time a child is 3 years old.

    What are the signs of separation anxiety?

    Babies experiencing separation anxiety fear that a parent will leave and not return. The fear may be worsened in the presence of a stranger. Typical responses of babies experiencing this normal phase of development may include the following:

    • crying when you leave the room
    • clinging or crying, especially in new situations
    • awakening and crying at night after previously sleeping through the night
    • refusal to go to sleep without parent nearby

    How can you help your child with separation anxiety?

    Children who feel secure are better able to handle separations. Cuddling and comforting your child when you are together can help him/her feel more secure. Other ways to help your child with separations include the following:

    • Comfort and reassure your child when he/she is afraid.
    • At home, help your baby learn independence by allowing him/her to crawl to other (safe) rooms for a short period of time by himself/herself.
    • Tell your baby if you are going to another room and that you will be back, then come back.
    • Plan your separations when your baby is rested and fed, rather than before a nap or meal.
    • Introduce new people and places gradually, allowing your baby time to get to know a new care provider.
    • Do not prolong good-byes and have the sitter distract your baby or child with a toy as you leave.
    • Introduce a transitional object such as a blanket or soft toy to help ease separations. 
    • For night awakenings, comfort and reassure your child by patting and soothing, but avoid letting your child get out of bed.

           Source: University of Virginia Health System



  • Tuesday, September 25, 2007 5:28 PM | Claire (Administrator)


    I'm a first time mom, completely happy with my beautiful daughter, but trying to cope with all the changes to my previously well planned and oganized life.  When I asked friends who had kids to tell me what it's like, they all gave me the glorious family life picture and I thought okay, I can do that. It will be great. 

    AND then... Baby arrives and it's not the glorious family picture that I imagined. It's not even close, and the weird thing is... the problem isn't the baby, it's the rest of the people around me, it's the fact that I'm not longer a great career woman, I'm no longer free to make my own choices and do whatever I want... I'm no longer the person I was and it's scary! 
    Coping with my new roles has been quite a challenge for me and coping with the new dynamics of my relationship with my husband (who in the first three months I wanted to throw off a bridge).  As much as they try, they just don't get it. They think that because they go to work, when they get home, they should have a nice dinner and then relax (because after all, we've JUST been with the baby all day)  we haven't been WORKING!!!

    Sometimes I think that when a woman has a baby, the husband should just go away for six months, this way mom can recover and take care of the baby without the addition of a much bigger, complaining baby.  Because the way I see it, a husband is just another baby

    Does anyone else feel the same way?

<< First  < Prev   ...   29   30   31   32   33   Next >  Last >> 

Recent Articles

Our Community

Life With A Baby
LWAB Foundation

Our Partners

Click here to visit this Mount Sinai's website

© 2020 Life with A Baby, Inc. All Rights Reserved.