Attachment Parenting - Are you attached?

Friday, January 22, 2010 11:26 PM | Claire (Administrator)

Are you an attached parent? What do you think of the name of this parenting style "attachment parenting".  What is attachement parenting?  A lot people are confused about what it means to practice attachement parenting.

I've met new moms who think that to practice attachement parenting is to have your child attached strongly to one parent and now one else.

Fact: Attachment parenting involves having the child attached to one or more caregivers so that they are provided with a safe, loving and secure environment. I myself practise "attachement parenting" I didn't know that there was label for this until I was asked. " do you practise attachment parenting?"  

I did what most moms do without realizing there was a label for this -

  • I slept with my baby for the first 4 months
  • She was held constantly, also b/c she didn't like to be put down
  • after the initial 4 months, I took my baby to bed with me, when she wouldn't sleep in her crib
  • I attended to her when she cried or was upset
  • I wore her in a carrier (actually still do when she will let me and she's 2)
  • nursed ( this one begs the question, are you not attached b/c you were not able to nurse)

So when I was asked If I practice attachement parenting, I said yes without even thinking about the label, aren't all parents attached to their kids?

But lately, someone asked "but, I thought you practised attachment parenting" this in response to me going away on vacation without my two year old and I did sleep training when she was 19 months old.

My answer is yes, I very much practise "attachment parenting", but I do not want my daughter to be attached to just me. I want her to be very attached to her dad and grand parents as well other family members

So in a sense, my idea of attachement parenting is getting my child attached to other people not just myself, so that in the event that I am not around, her environment will still be loving, safe, familiar and secure. So she spends a lot of bonding time with just dad, and she also spends bonding time with just grand-parents.

The fact is attachment parenting does not mean that you get your child stuck to your person and never leave their side. It does not mean that you have to co-sleep, it does not mean that you have to wear them in a sling! These are great if it's something you and your baby enjoys, but it's not a requirement to call yourself an attached parent.

Now the issue of sleep, as a parent, you know your child and you know if there are being affected by lack of sleep.  So if you choose to sleep train your child (after 6 months of age) for the benefit of your baby, yourself and your family.  Does this make any less attached to your child? 

There is a lot of information including the definition of attachment parenting and the philosophy on the following sites:,,489j,00.html

I would love to hear comments about this posting.  Agree or disagree - What is your perspective on this? 


  • Thursday, February 18, 2010 11:26 AM | Deleted user
    Dr. William Sears sure has a lot to say and explain with this label he created. Its so misleading like what he recently published about NDD that's supposed to mean Nutritional Deficiency Disorder. Accdg to him "It isn’t a real disorder — I gave poor eating habits a name so that parents would understand how important it is to feed kids properly..." I wouldn't underestimate the savvy and sometimes over-informed parents in this day and age to understand stuff about kids nutrition, moreso, getting attached to their babies. :D
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  • Wednesday, March 31, 2010 7:39 PM | Kimberly
    I also practice attachment parenting as well and I didnt know it had a name until I heard you and Maria mention it in the group you ran at the early years centre. Since then I have done quite a bit of research on the subject. I think there are a million different ways to interpret the different aspects of AP. I think the biggest issue is that most people dont know what attachment parenting is or that it even exsists and I think that people are defered from learning more from people who dont understand it and critisise it. I really think we should orginize information sessions and support groups for moms/parents who are interested in/practising AP.
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  • Sunday, April 25, 2010 5:02 PM | sarah
    "Attachment parenting" is just the latest title for how to parent a child. The term "attachment" is actually the way a caregiver responds to a baby's primary needs ie cries for food, attention, diaper change etc. There are four forms of attachment--three are the kind that may require some interventions and the fourth kind is a secure attachment. In order to form a secure attachment, you guessed it, the caregiver needs to respond consistently and appropriately to baby's cries and needs. This does not mean giving into baby's every meltdown. It means giving baby food when hungry, giving her hugs/attention when needed, etc. Diane Benoit, a psychologist at Sick Kids Hosp is actually an expert on what true attachment means.
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