November 27th, 2015 - A Journal entry.

Today was a magnificent day in every way. It started off with talking and breathing my way out of an anxiety attack.

It's been just an amazing week all around. A bit stressful at times, and emotionally exhausting because of worrying about hubby.

We held our 4th annual conference with a focus on supporting families who have spent time in the NICU. The conference featured amazing speakers and doctors. We even had the Pediatrician in charge of Mount Sinai Hospital at the event. Kudos to amazing staff and committee members and volunteers who made the day spectacular. I'm still getting emails from people about just how much the event impacted their personal and professional life.

Ended the week off with a mentor-ship lunch with Kirstine Stewart who is the VP of Media, Twitter Canada.  She is an incredible woman and it was an amazing opportunity.   7 other women & I won our chance to be there by submitting an application explaining why it is ‪#‎ourturn‬.

I could have missed it today if I had allowed my anxiety to take over. I started feeling like I couldn't breathe, and panic started to slowly creep in. But, I talked myself out of it and literally counted down from for 10 to 1 over and over for 10 kilometres on the highway. It was the only way I could drive and make it there and not miss the meeting and this incredible opportunity. Logically my brain was able to realize that I can, in fact, breathe if I can count. I'm all for logic in these situations.

At first, I felt silly, here I am talking to myself on the highway in what is supposed to be an incredible day. Why did this happen today? I have no idea. It's hard to know what I was thinking about in my subconscious.

The important thing is that I kicked anxiety in the butt today. Yup. Awesome, awesome day.

What I've learned since November 27th is that self-care is very, very important for me.  In taking care of my work, my kids, and my marriage I often leave taking care of myself as a last resort.

I've since then re-prioritized and put taking care of myself first.  Because I really can't be good at take care of all the other people I love if I am not at my best.