Nina Sy wrote:I may have 3 but I can't imagine myself caring for twins. Its an entirely new ball game. But how do you manage the workload and routine, especially the feeding and who to soothe first when they start crying? You got your hands full, but, supermom! Are you planning for another pregnancy, too?
Well as a multiple birth mommy the closest I can get to explaining what it is like is to say to you "do everything that you now do -- twice." After you have fed, diapered and soothed your singleton back to sleep imagine spending the same amount of time and energy doing it all again. So a new mother of twins wakes up twice as many times.!
As for soothing, if I am alone and they start to fuss at the same time, I check to see who is hurting and go to that baby first. If neither is hurting but they are just feeling fussy and wanting a little bit of loving then in a sitting position, I put the head of one child on my left shoulder and gently stroke him on his back using my left hand; while I position the other infant across my thighs and gently stroke his back using my right hand. I have been lucky so this doesn't happen to me a lot. Mostly when they get sick with the cold or flu then I have to call in reinforcements -- namely their dad or another family member.
And yes, even without the complications of being sick, they will wake each other up if one isn't sleeping soundly and the other cries loudly for too long.
And no, I am not planning another pregnancy. That would be sure insanity. Even supermom's need to rest and relax.
There is no real routine because you are not always lucky to have each child sleeping and waking simultaneously, like clockwork. Sometimes their schedules are synchronized; sometimes not! So regardless, you have to take care of the essentials of the daily workload: like making meals, feeding, and diapering. Those come first. Giving baths and reading to or playing with the boys come a very close second. Everything else comes a distant third. Of course, in all of this you have to find time to cook your own meals, eat, take care of your own critical personal needs (things like getting the hair and nails done are pleasant memories), do grocery shopping, laundry etc. etc. etc.
By the way: going grocery shopping is near impossible if you have to push a double stroller! Taking them to the park by yourself is very very risky business since if they begin to run in different directions, you have to make a choice as to which child you are saying goodbye to!
My word of advice: The minute a woman hears that she is going to be the mother of multiples, she should do everything humanly possible to have reliable people that she trusts around her 24/7 for the first 6 months, at least. If she plans to breastfeed then she will need to have two persons in the home: one full-time and the other may drop in for a few hours to help to make the meals, do the laundry, clean the house etc. etc. Note: I am not including a husband/spouse who has to work, because his help would be minimal, at best. New mothers of multiples need extended family members or a full-time live-in nanny at home with her.
Otherwise mental illness will threaten your very existence because of the physical and emotional demands on your body.
Those who have never had the pleasure of having multiples tend to romanticize the experience often commenting that they would love to have twins... and that they look as cute as matching buttons. But for those of us in the trenches... we are happy that we have our kids. We say yeah they are as cute as matching buttons but they are a lot of "matching" work. Blessings they are... but a lot of work. A pleasure to watch when they begin to play with each other... but a lot of work to tidy up after!
