sonja meehan wrote:my dh and i are having an adjustment period with our kids. we have 2 girls (2.5 years and 7 months) and spend so much time on them that we are forgetting to put us first! we are exhausted after they go to bed, and from their whining/crying bouts. they are good girls mind you, but we just find ourselves talking more and more about "our life before kids". anyone else experiencing this? we try to have date nights, but everytime we leave the girls with my mil, she says the youngest cries all the time, and i feel so guilty that she does that with my mil. i just long for the day we can go on a vacation again!
Hi - we also have a 3 year old and a 6 month old and my hubby and I have run into so many issues.... as alot of members have said, once the children are in bed i am too exhausted to talk let alone have sex.... but that all changed.
i dont mind sharing with you, that we started going to marriage counselling, and its the best thing that we ever did, i would hate it to get to the stage when we just exist together in the house.... and that is where we were heading, there was lots of resentment between us (if you can go out and do that why cant i) each of us always fighting for more 'me' time, but with the help of our consellor we are now working as a team and having sex again :-) things are definitely a lot better between us and when you feel valued you want to do more for them and when they are feeling appreciated (and your intimate with each other) he will want to do more to help you too.
the way you have to think is, that if you have a happy marriage then you will have a happy family, your relationship HAS to be the most important thing, esp as you will be teaching your children how to love and be loved and how a partnership works. Once your children leave home, and they will, you still need to have a relationship with your husband.
i am waffling now, anyway, we were going to counselling every week and now we go once a month just as a refresher, as sometimes in our busy lives this is the only hour that we get to communicate.
Also, there is nothing wrong with communicating with each other over the phone, text or email, at least you are still communicating - and sometimes you have to schedule 'intimate' times.
as for your little one crying at your MIL's - maybe you could ask her not to let you know what happens when you are there, i know that might sound harsh, my mum adopts the same policy. she always reassures me that my daughters are ok, of course they are ok... and you need this special time together, to remember why you got together before children.
Funnily enough, before we had my youngest daughter we left my then 18 month old with my parents and went to the Dominican for a weeks vacation, it was brilliant - for the first 3 days, and then i just wanted to come home to her. So now we stick to just nights out or the odd hotel stay over :-)
good luck - its hard work juggling all these relationships but as you know worth it in the end
thanks Jenn
