As I sat across the table on one rare free Saturday afternoon listening to my single child free friend talk about her dreams and aspirations, it prompted me to do the same, but then I paused in awe.  I was shocked at what was coming out of my mouth.  I couldn’t remember the last time I uttered those words.  I have been so busy trying to be the perfect mom and parent that I had forgotten about my own dreams and aspirations.  Well…let me rephrase that.  Oh yeah I have dreams alright.  I have dreams about my daughter, who she would be, what school she will go to and etc…Sound familiar? 

But the dreams I am talking about are MINE (in reference to me, not mom or wife).  I realized one day that I was getting depressed.  I spent so much of my time searching and looking for the next programs, play dates, or play grounds for my daughter.  I found my life had become a routine.  I couldn’t remember the last time I researched self-improvement workshops and books for myself.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter and I enjoy and treasure every moment that we have together, but come on…lets be honest here.  How many times can you read that same book or sing that song, or watch that DVD over and over again within the hour, without going crazy. 

I have since then taken action and try to have a little more of ME time and started reading again (non child related).  I find myself getting inspired again. I thought I should post this just incase somebody else here felt the same.

They say when the parent is happy the child is happy.  To be a great parent we have to be happy.  But how can we be happy as parents if we are only living half of who we are (that is who we are outside of mom, dad, wife, or husband)?

They also say that as parents we are the primary teachers in our children’s lives and we do this by setting examples.  We all want them to grow up to be the best of who ever they want to be or whatever they want to do.  We want them to dream and dream BIG. 

 But how can we expect these things of our children if we are not willing to do the same…???

Just something to ponder...

Linda

Nina Sy wrote:Thanks Linda. This is a wonderful post and so many points that deserve huzzahs.

It can be quite a challenge with the very limited time off from the kids but when I do get a chance, I just step out of the door without any hesitation and without looking back (like, I'm so outta here!). Then after a couple of hours, I'm back home with a renewed sense of self-esteem and vigor.

You're right, dreams and aspirations are important.  It may take a back seat for a while but should never be forgotten because that's what make us and keep us.  These are equally important as the kids, I reckon, for it kindle our spirit.  Without spirit, we all suffer a great deal from lost sense of purpose, humour, positivity, and pride to name a few.  When all we want is to be happy.

Right on!

You seem way ahead of the game.  I think having the ME time and rejuvenating our spirit is something that we struggle greatly with as mothers.  There is this complex sense of guilt that by taking this time to re-energize and reconnecting with ourself is somehow taking precious time away from our children, when in actual reality it can only enhance how we care for our children. 

I hope you will be able to join us at the Dream Building lunch. 

Linda

Anne Marie Daniolos wrote:I am soooo happy this came, I've been feeling alone in this area.  Every Wednesday after Born To Read, I've invited moms to come for lunch to discuss what makes life delicious.

I want to keep this alive for woman, keeping our passions alive so that our children learn to do the same.  Having a child for me was a dream, one of my dreams.  While pregnant, I promised in my journal to reach my full potential so that I could always feel full, not expecting anyone else to 'fill' any voids.  This sets the ultimate example for our children and allows for flow in our parenting.

We can still use the Wednesday time for Dream Building or I am open to alternate arrangement.

As a Life Coach, I can provide tools to assist in the process.

Thank you again for having the courage to post this.

anne marie

There is a Dream Building lunch that I am hosting this Sunday August 15 at 11:30am.  Why not join in the discussion.  It will be nice to get your take on this matter.

See the event calender for details.

Linda